Tuesday, May 31, 2022

3926 : Chilli Funk

The other day, I was sitting with you, both of us waiting for our dinner. The server got us a plate of salad, essentially just onions. You gave me your smirk, and sheepishly said "Can you request him to include some cucumber and tomatoes too?"

I politely looked at the server and mumbled something. In turn, he understood the request and in a few minutes got a large plate including chillies.

As we were chomping on the veggies, you said, "Do you mind eating one chilli for me?"

I could not contain my incredulity. "Why?"

"For me. Please. Pretty Please.", you said with mischief dancing on your forehead.

Always game for rando craziness, I picked the largest chilli on the plate (the largest is always the mildest)....and chewed it slowly. Only by the last bite, did my poor tongue scream back at me "Fuck you, imbecile idiot. What are you trying to do?"

To silence my tongue, and its french, I drank a large glass of water.

After a few minutes, as we still waited for the food, you said, "One more please?. Come on goldy."

Who the fuck is "goldy" now?

I looked around totally perplexed. And loudly said "Fuck off".

"One more, and my offering to this new place, would be complete." you smiled awkwardly and said. "Really, this is so near Kailash. I wanted to do this for Shivji."

"Jerk - shouldn't you eat, its your offering?"

You continued smiling and imploring "please" with your looks and a large pout, that almost embarassed the shit out of me.

With great trepidation, I chose another large one. In preparation, requested the server for a piece of jaggery. Then I proceeded to eat the green poison....this time chewing as little as possible.

As I finished, gulped the water and hungrily sucked on the jaggery....you purposefully stood up, majestically walked around the table. Am sure everyone noticed. In full view, you pecked me and loudly announced, "you are such an absolute dear".

And my ears heard "deer".

Boom boom. In that moment, I knew the real you. 


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