Tuesday, May 24, 2022

3919 : Driving

Driving clears up the mind. I have been driving for the past 4 days, 2 more days to go. Intense driving.

Point is...Nothing. 

Have had too much time to think and mentally detox.

Everything I hold precious is disintegrating around me, and that hurts me immensely. Seeing the world around me slowly sliver away, and with it, my own possibilities.....truly and utterly deflates me.

Its like seeing death at close quarters and recognizing that life is all about one thing. Dying. That is indeed the only certainty.

Similarly - moving adrift seems so akin to our intrinsic relationships.

Sounds like a rant, isn't it? It is.

3918 : Old age

I have spent the past week with people older than me. 

Our elders teach us the world, one inch at a time. Not by expounding but by living. 

Watching your elders at close quarters is at most times a blessing.


Sunday, May 22, 2022

3917 : 52

A pack of cards.

A year of being moonless.

52 weeks.

52 players.

You were the Ace of Hearts.

I held onto my spade.

Today, I feel like the Joker.

Monday, May 09, 2022

3916 : Reading list 2022 : #12 Bluebeard by Kurt Vonnegut

Loved this little gem of a book. A strange fictional memoir. 

And yet, I loved this book so much. Read it for the strange melancholy that transcends this book and Vonnegut's writings. The strange loss of knowing that nothing might actually eventually matter. 

At 338 pages brings my 2022 total to 3431 pages.

Do read this book and be charmed in writing lessons. How to write so well, that it almost looks effortless.

Tuesday, May 03, 2022

3915 : Reading List 2022 : #11 Breakfast of champions by Kurt Vonnegut

Reading Kurt Vonnegut after almost a decade and loving it totally again.

Seeing it in a different light, esp the exaggerated tongue in cheek. The light hearted and yet apt digs at American (and our) suburban life. And the illustrations are lovely.

At 303 pages brings my 2022 total to 3093 pages.

A most definite read.

Saturday, April 30, 2022

3914 : Reading list 2022 : #10 The Silent Parade by Keigo Higashino

What not to like in a Japanese thriller. Builds up neatly and continues till the end. Highly recommende for someone who likes this genre.

Very good read. Still possibly 8/10 (I like my literary books more!!), but dont mind reading these books at all.

At 435 pages brings my 2022 total to 2790 pages.

Friday, April 29, 2022

3913 : Reading List 2022 : #9 Earthquake Bird by Susanna Jones

If you have not seen the movie, you must. Its a visual treat. To someone who loves Japan, its a love story.

If you have not read the book, you must, its delightful writing.

Loved the writing and the book. 

At 276 pages brings my 2022 total to 2355 pages.

Thursday, April 28, 2022

3912 : Reading List 2022 : #8 This is pleasure by Mary Gaitskill

And I might just be recommending the book of the year for me.

This little book, about #MeToo, made me think, made me think and made me think.

It was one of the books, I never wanted to end. Stunning writing. As I always say for books like this 18/10. Do read it. Dont miss it. Send me a note, and I shall gift you this.

At 97 pages brings my 2022 total to 2079 pages.

Buy, treasure and re-read this book.

Images from the Guardian

Wednesday, April 27, 2022

3911 : Reading List 2022 : #7 Run and Hide by Pankaj Mishra

A strange melancholy of a book. Conjures images of a world that is never still, always moving. A world where we never fully know what we want, and never have what we need, and that little thing which means everything to us - is always just a few inches from our grasp.

Loved the writing, the imagery and the hidden philosophical gems interspersed in the book. A book that made me search my soul, and come up with its vacious emptiness.

Absolutely do read it.

At 338 pages brings my 2022 total to 1982 pages.

Tuesday, April 26, 2022

3910 : Reading List 2022 : #6 Tokyo Decadence by Ryu Murakami

Finished this little gem of a book, very unusual stories about love. Some of them stunningly graphic and makes you think. 

At least I did wonder what kind of person the author must be - to write with such grittiness.

On my scale, possibly 9/10. The folks who dont like too much raw, might dislike a book like this.

Do read.

At 280 pages brings my 2022 reading total to 1644 pages.

Monday, April 25, 2022

3909 : When we danced

I have been away. A long silence. A point where our mind is talking, but our voices are silent.

There is chatter, and then there is emptiness.

One day there shall be no more the need for the quiet.

Monday, February 21, 2022

3908 : Stories - 2

Read the previous post.

And that explains, why I seem to love conversations on a podcast. They represent what I miss quite a bit in my life. Stories, life experiences, the sharing of these tales.

Instead I am often surrounded by uni-dimensional folks (and I am guessing I am that too).

With stories, we can connect. With conversations, we can bridge. With a shared context, we can overcome.

3907 : Stories

In the past few years, I have noticed that the world around me is slightly amiss. My own ecosystem, I mean.

Let me explain - what "amiss" means. It means bereft of color and character. I have struggled with it, but never come to correctly point out what it was. What was it, that represented "color and character" and hence was amiss.

So kept hunting for the missing sauce. And then one day, a few months ago - I was reading some anecdote on twitter, and it occurred to me. The epiphany.

The world around me, my ecosystem is bereft of stories. Everyone is on a treadmill (so am I), everyone is going somewhere (so am I), everyone has no time to stare or pause (me too).....and yet no one has stories. No one has memories.

Our memories are a blur, our photos as a cess pool. Our digital apps are cringe. And the real stories are missing. 

A world without stories being shared or spoken is such a quaint place. Its without character and color. Its what is amiss.

Saturday, February 19, 2022

3906 : The silence of the days

As you see the world around closing in, its interesting to take a pause. And dream on.

Dream on, about what?

About the stories that we constantly tell each other, and also about the stories that we never tell each other.

Saturday, February 12, 2022

3904 : Reading List 2022 : #5 Rumors of a Spring by Farah Bashir

Loved this little gem of a book, written like a part memoir, part tale.

Shows how broken Kashmir is, and how traumatic is to those caught in the war.

At 216 pages brings my 2022 reading total to 1374.

3903 : Reading List 2022 : #4 A desolation called peace by Ather Zia and many other voices

A book about writers from Kashmir writing in their version of the land and its current state.

Despodent, desolate and yet about hope. For a future, where we all live together to share this planet.

Read. Think. Reflect.

At 277 pages brings my 2022 total to 1162 pages.

3902 : Modern isolation

In the modern world, the sense of isolation, the sense of being nowhere, and yet everywhere - is almost complete. 

One day, I will return to the real world. Reminds me Queensryche singing, "Real World"....one of my favorite songs....from the movie Last Action Hero.

3901 : Reading List 2022 #3 : I have not seen Mandu by Swadesh Deepak and Jerry Pinto

This book is a memoir written by a person who fought his personal demons. And he describes the demons as he sees them. Everyday in the closet, the shape shifts.

Need I say more?

I have not read a book like this. Deeply disturbing and yet so enriching. I came out more aware of myself, of the world around me.

I felt as if I have known Swadesh Deepak forever. What would I not give to know him?

A book that transforms your insides.

Go for it. At 360 pages brings my 2022 to 885 pages.

Image from Hindustantimes.com

3900 : The state of my nation

As we finish the first months of 2022, I realise, that my life has been a blur. I feel I am filling time. Its a sense of deep loneliness, a deep sense of knowing that this is not my race is.

We choose a world, we paint a canvas. And yet at times, we dont like what we have painted. Or what we are painting?

Should I discard the canvas, and start all over again?

Silence is my new best friend.

Wednesday, February 09, 2022

3899 : Zinda unplugged by Amit Trivedi

I can listen all day long to Amit Trivedi unplugged singing "Zinda" from Lootera.

Thursday, January 27, 2022

3898 : We will never know

 So daughter asks me, "When did Chris Cornell die?"

"2018 or 2017?"

"How did he die?"

"Of depression."

"What was he depressed with?"

"I dont know."

"Can we find out?"

"No, we will never be able to find out. His secrets are gone with him."

3897 : Jaag Musafir by Fareed Ayaz

If you have not heard this - I suggest you hear this on loop. As trippy and trancy as it can get.

Play this to the end of time, till the end of the world. 

And yes, please "wake up."

What a song!!

Wednesday, January 19, 2022

3896 : I usually love listening to music, except for some exceptions

And #1 on this list is "Where the Streets have no name" original video.

What a feel it has.

Especially at some point, when the first strumm hits the road. Always mesmerized.

Stays in my head rent free.

Watch it and feel goose pimples.

The guitar riff!! Phew!!

3896 : Thangamey by Anirudh Ravichander

This song has such a lovely alternative rock feel to it. If you just heard the start, this could be easily an alt rock number.

This musician is a genius. Totally overshadows ARR.

3895 : Listening to Chris Cornell singing Nothing Compares 2 U

Is the closest you can get to happiness in any given lifetime.

Such an experience always reminds me of what greatness each of us possibly holds in our hearts.

What a song.

Monday, January 10, 2022

3894 : Reading List 2022 : #2 : Wanting by Luke Burgis

This book is easily one of my best reads in recent times. 

Totally recommedned. It explains what are our foundational motivations are, and why most of them are totally wrong.

Changes the way you look at your own life.

I am already starting my second read of the book.

At 290 pages brings my 2022 reading total to 425 pages.

Image from Lavin Agency

3893 : Reading list 2022 : #1 : What we talk about when we talk about love by Raymond Carver

Just finished this highly recommended book (as in its an overall popular book) by Raymond Carver - What we talk about when we talk about love.

In my honest sense, I liked the writing - its crisp and edited. (Supposedly his editor was the magic !!)

What I struggled with is - at least some of the stories I did not fully grasp. They are abstract. More like poems, but also more like an inside joke from the author.

Maybe, it's just me - I am dense.

Unlike other books, where the best stories are early in the book - in this case, its towards the end of the book.

Overall I would rate this 8/10. I know Carver fans will hate me.

I loved the title story - that alone makes it worth the read.

At 135 pages, this is my first book for the year.

Saturday, January 08, 2022

3892 : Spotify can suggest gems

It just suggested to me the classic "Girl from Ipanema" as sung by Amy Winehouse. Was not aware of such a version.

My fav is the Stan Getz original version, but this version is sweet too.

3891 : What is it about men, from North Sea Festival by Amy Winehouse

If there is one song that never fails to move me, its "What's it about men?" By Amy Winehouse, from North Sea Festival. 

Only available on Youtube and Spotify.

Just looking at her sing is so hypnotic. Totally love her and her voice.

And the lyrics. Phew!!

My favorite line is "My destructive side has grown a mile wide"

Friday, January 07, 2022

3890 : Ali D'Oro by John Lee Hooker

 If there is only one song you must listen to today it has to be

Ali D'Oro by John Lee Hooker.

3889 : Kaushiki Chakraborty

There is a new love in town. Its unabashedly Kaushiki Chakraborty.

I have been playing her on repeat.

Wednesday, January 05, 2022

3888 : Contemplative vs reactive thinking

While it sounds like a simple concept. Its really not...

Hear this at 


Ideally subscribe using your fav podcast player. Mine is Spotify.

And yes keep inputs coming.

3887 : Why philosophy

I was talking to a friend of mine and she was saying that philosophy possibly is a first world problem and we don't need it or should not pander much to it.

I have been thinking about this chat.

Like I would like to have a chat with someone for over 4 hrs on what "love" could possibly mean? Or what "penitence" means? 

I then wonder am I biased, because I like these rabbit holes? And then I believe, that even 1000 years ago, if I was born - I would be similar - thinking along these same lines.

In summary, I love philosophy and if anyone ever has the time and enthu, ping me. Always around for a chat.

Sunday, January 02, 2022

3886 : Unborn

My city is always full of dust. It feels like a city perpetually being built. The more I have meditated on this, my awareness of this has changed. More and more, I feel as if, this dust is about the houses that never got built.

Those specks of cement and sand, that never made it to the structure.

The ones who missed the mark, and yet, they are always around, witnesses to their own failures, and telling their stories for posteriety.

3885 : Freedom

There is something unique about you just letting your hair loose. It represents braids that are no longer confing, it represents structures that are not confirming and it also variously represents the knowing and the confusing.

Today, I saw you again, and I realised that it also possibly represents letting go. Of not being someone else, but being you. This is what freedom possibly looks like.

Saturday, January 01, 2022

3884 : Poisons

God made the poisons to slow down our lives. Coffee, tea, smokes, drink, grass.....all of it only designed to slow down our perception of time....make us see the intuitive truth. 

"Time is where it is, at a point. Its you who is moving." 

3883 : Smoke and mirrors

Its a new start. One that we solemnise with whiskey and smoke.

The room is still. The air is silent. The radiator on the conditioner is the only buzz.

The mirror is blank. In some sense there is no real future. 

As the smoke fills the room, you appear more and more blurred. The silhouette of someone I probably don't know at all.