3009: Sin #4

Someone who can was once my peer became very senior somewhere today. And a large part of me is suffering from envy and jealousy. 

The thought in my opinion envy is - this could have been me...and also, now it shall never be me. 

What have I become ? Is this even normal ? Buddhism and reductionsm be damned. 

A part of the edifice has crumbler and crumpled. Need to rebuild and also - iron out.

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