3022 : Struggling to write

 I am struggling to write in the past few days, also to read.

Mental fatigue is kicking in big time. This constant strain of having to "reach" somewhere with work/with admin/with personal goals.

And in these times - the things that mean the most to you - the writing, the reading the music -  take a complete toss.

Irate.

3021 : Ocean vs the brook

 “Learn this from water: loud splashes the brook, but the ocean's depth are calm.” ~ Buddha

3020 : The too much...the too little...Jewishness" by Paul Celan

 There was talk of your God, I spoke

against him, I

let the heart I had
hope:
for
his highest, his death-rattled, his
contending word—

3019 : Purpose

Is the purpose of individuals/businesses to also take stands ?

I think the answer is YES. A loud one at that. But it is incredibly hard. 

I ponder this in the context of Noam Chomsky being called off the Tata Lit Festival. 

Tatas seemingly prioritized what's better for their business, over what might appear to be a stand. 

And don't tell me cancelling someone (in this case Chomsky) is a stand. It's not. It's what I call as the "inert" response. Neither positive nor negative. Either positive or negative would be a stand. 

3018 : Reading list 2020: #23: Azadi by Miss Arundhati Roy

 I like Miss Arundhati Roy.  She writes well, takes stands and speaks damn eloquently. 

I liked this book immensely. It teaches/coaxes a different way of looking at the world. It teaches us to question and look inward.

It a series of essays, some of them very repetitive. On a scale of 10 I would rate this book 10 on writing and 7 on content.

Loved it all the same.

Images from Penguin.

Brings my 2020 reading total to 7143 pages

3017 : Yeh Nayan Dare Dare by Hemant Kumar

I have heard three versions of this song - from Hemant Da, Lata Didi, and Jagjit Singh.....and that's the order I like them too. 

It's an extremely haunting song. You shall keep humming it all through the day and all through the week.

The reason I got reminded of this song when a dear friend of mine played this on the flute.

3016: Why do we read what we read?

Most people assume that we read what we like or what sounds like what we shall like.

Martin Amis believes we read possibly because there is something we don't understand but would like to understand. 

Example I read a lot about violence, a lot about the depths of human behaviour. I also read about power and it's trip. And finally tons of zen and Buddhism.

All three topics span the spectrum. I read all of them because I don't understand much about any of them, but I really would want to.

I cannot agree more with Mr. Amis.

3015: Art is...

A peacock created by hand that took over 35 mins. Not by me. But I was mesmerized by the process. Fascinating.

3014: First impression

You will never get a second chance at creating a good first impression.

Advice from Martin Amis and Chris Hitchens

3013: There is no place like home to wind down

My solitude, my books and my music.....notice the "my".....the ego is dead, long live the ego. 

3012: The death of the poem

I was reading Martin Amis (and Phoebe Philips ha ha ha ha 😊) and he veers into a direction why real poetry will die. 

And I loved the insight. His premise is that in this modern world (accelerated world) he thinks we shall have less and less time for pregnant pauses....for shared epiphanies on which we meditate.....and that precisely sums up what poetry is.

I found it immensely insightful. 

3011: Fleets

She had unbelievably good hand writing.

That's the post. 😊

3010: Neither a hermit nor an urban fit

I met some normal urban folks. Happy, tight knit, totally involved in the goals of the everyday, and good specimen of the urban genre.

I don't fit in with them. No sense of fashion 😂, no naked ambition, no harmony with spouse 😂 and that makes me a misfit. 

And I also met a modern hermit. I cannot but admire immensely. He is indeed a role model.

And I realised. I am neither here nor there. A wannabe in both spheres. Posturing. 

3009: Sin #4

Someone who can was once my peer became very senior somewhere today. And a large part of me is suffering from envy and jealousy. 

The thought in my opinion envy is - this could have been me...and also, now it shall never be me. 

What have I become ? Is this even normal ? Buddhism and reductionsm be damned. 

A part of the edifice has crumbler and crumpled. Need to rebuild and also - iron out.

3008: Rut

Every now and then I get into a rut - no reading, no writing and no blogging. 

Almost like a mindfcuk. Almost.

3007: Spirit world Vs real world

In a chat it was implied that the current world has become too political. 

And so has the discourse. 

And I was wondering for whom ?

Me ?

Us ?

The politicking of the world fatigues me,and I do want to avoid it. For my own sense of being unable to change it.

Also because I want to try and focus my what is beautiful, what is ephemeral and what moves our spirits. 

Focus is hard. Jostling is involving and fills up time. It's a battle between the spirit and the real world. 

3006: I am using a mobile blogging service

For the first time and it seems to work well in a very low bandwidth circumstance. 

Except for labels.

3005: What matters and what does not

To be happy all you need is a good meal, a good company and lots of laughs and/or silence. 

At least in the moment. 

3004 : In a farm

You actually realise how little your needs can be. A shade or a place to rest and good wholesome food. I don't know if I can sustain this all my life....but for a few days this seems like Godsend introspection. 

3003 : I cant help falling in love by Elvis Presley

 The poetry in this song just rocks. It's an unbelievable piece of writing, set to some great harmony.

Wise men say
Only fools rush in
But I can't help falling in love with you
Shall I stay?
Would it be a sin
If I can't help falling in love with you?

Like a river flows
Surely to the sea
Darling, so it goes
Some things are meant to be

Take my hand
Take my whole life too
For I can't help falling in love with you

3002 : Tu Chal by Amitabh Bachchan

 I can't help but fall in complete awe of a 75+-year-old man who recites poem(s) as if that is what he was born to do. Like Gulzar, exactly :-).

Listening to Amitabh Bachchan recite "Tu Chal" from the movie Pink has to be one of the most inspiring things in the world (almost like the Al Pacino, Whole Nine Yards, speech)

Listen and be enthralled.

3001 : This too shall pass

 As I look at the world around me, something in me feels slightly bleak. I was a bit of a pessimist (over the last 12 months) have pivoted to something of an optimist. (What a year right to choose this mod :-).

And I have also become more silent around external items that used to bother me. "Inert" is a more appropriate word.

And yet, in recent weeks, something feels bleak. And my sane roots tell me, that the world will continue inspite of my views.

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind :-)