Friday, July 31, 2015

2231 : Born to run

Don't ever let me run away. Because thats all what I have done all my life. Spring away from the charade, run from the very story that defines me.

Hold me, stop me, if I don't yield in time, I will in all probability gather escape velocity, I will be gone. I will go with my failings, my tribulations, my own well fashioned rationalizations, all the way along with the infinite river of excuses I have always made up.

You were talking to me the other day, you asked me, "Why would you head off to that goddamned familiar city?". 

I remember telling you, "A city is never just its houses, buildings, roads and cartographer. There is a large part of 'that city' in my head. And 'that city' is where I am running head first into. I want to smell its spices, the turmeric, the cinnamon and all the rest that define it. I want to traverse that journey today, now."

My answer was nothing but a smart quip. Barricade me up. Contrary to what you believe, I really don't have a secret lover stashed in 'that city', I have nothing, and absolutely nothing if I don't have you. You are the poem called me. And yet, I am distancing myself from you.

I have flirted with this insanity all my life. Don't allow me to proceed towards sanity. That will kill all the remaining life within me. 

Let me share a secret, my cancer will never kill me. My feet will get my goose before C does.

Don't let me drift please. I don't want to run, I want to walk. With you.

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