Saturday, July 11, 2015

2218 : The Endgame

She and I were playing a game of chess. 16 moves (each) into the game I had far advanced into her territory (I do play very aggressive), but most importantly overall she was 2 pawns up....which means as a net square off, I was 2 pawns more down than she was. All other losses were commensurate on either side.

She probably thought just I did, and knew that in a mid-game , the 2 pawns would be the entire game - both in terms of psychological advantage, also in terms of what risks we could now take from here on.

She had also castled already, versus my king was bare naked in his romp zone. The dice were loaded against me.

We had been quite this far, and it had hardly taken us 10 mins to reach this point (yes we play speed chess), and she said "Jerk, you play to lose kya?".

I smiled, "Lady, midgame has just started, lets wait and watch. As an aside though, I always play to win." I said with as serious a face I could muster.

"And this is how you play to win? Is this some famed Sicilian defense or Scottish attack or Somalian setup? What is this?" - she said full of facetious disbelief.

"Look its a game. I made some mistakes and am paying the price for it."

"Ah, so you made some mistakes. Fking male ego, jerk, I killed those two additional pigs who were loitering around. BTW, thats the tasties pork I have ever eaten. My stomach, my mind and my soul - all are satiated.", she said with an evil grin.

"Ok, you cornered my pawns. Agreed, but it was you who set it up. But it was my sheer stupidity that I failed to see your gambit".

"That I agree, the 'sheer stupidity' bit. You are loaded with it. You seem to have accumulated tons of jackshit within your insides.". I could see she was having a ball.

"There is an eternal dilemma around chess that I have never been able to resolve. Or for that matter golf too."

"And that is?"

"Look, if this is indeed a game, then its just a game. Why are we investing so much mind and space into this. On the other hand, if chess is indeed the war it is supposed to be...then I will only play to win. You can never ever afford to lose a war. In olden times, and even today, if you lose a war, you are kosher, you are kaput, you are the cheese at the end of a pineapple laden toothpick."

"Wah wah...poet saheb, you do speak like a good poet, but a terrible chess player."

"Seriously. Think na. This war...if it is truly metaphorically worth winning, then I cannot afford to lose cant be that some days I can come in and be ok losing. I should never ever be ok losing...and I should not even have that option....even if I am playing with Kasparov or Anand....but on the other if this just a game....then fk it. Why are we killing ourselves ? Too much mindspace over it. Like as an example, you are gloating over an advantage in a specific game, which in 10 days even you would not remember anything about."

"Bloody fker, can you stop philosophizing ever? Cant you even play chess without meditating on it?".

"Thats my point....if this is not worth philosophizing, then its also not worth gloating over....and if it is indeed worth the 2 pawn advantage you have, then bloody hell...its a war, and I will die before I let you win."

"Is that a threat?"

Finally I smiled. "Yes sort of."

"Fker. Bad loser". She smiled as she said that.

"Listen one more thing. This is the weird game/war. And it suits a bloody feminist like you."

"Equalist, not a feminist..."

"Whatever...." I said with a fake nonchalance....."The King is naked in and outside the castle. Can move one step at a time. The Queen on the other hand is free to do whatever she wants to. She can fk around, sleep around, kiss around and even replicate herself.....and if she dies the sentiment dies. Usually does. "

"Ha ha. Good point".

"This game was invented by the bees, maybe."

"Check. Now play. Else I shall sting"....she said with a waspy note.

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