I feel as if I am dead today. The body is crushed beneath the weight of a million thoughts. Some meditative, some in contemplation of the future, and then some others in sheer contempt of the present.
My physical body is reacting to the forces acting upon the mind. I am tired. Really fatigued. I have allowed myself a break from work since afternoon.
I have almost taken a digitial break. I have not checked my phones, or my work emails or any other way in which people can reach me.
I needed this time off. I needed to disconnect.
I find it mildly amusing, that the only time my mind is allowed (by the world around me) to disconnect is when I am really ill. At all other times, even on the worst of days (esp those on which I am still not classified ill), my family will make demands on me, my work will put immense demands on me, and I will have my own creature habit demands.
On a day like today, I have let everything pause. I have worked 19 years without a pause, and my body is hurting. It wants to ease off. Completely ease off.
Its also clearly saying that if the only way, I am going to take a break (or get a break) is by falling ill, then its going to attack my insides with a vengeance. I can hear the wise voice of my body speak to me.
I truly need to break off from the world at large. Driving feels like escape, but I then need to escape off for a couple of weeks at least.
The break away is coming, so is the break down. Something shall give. Someone will lose. Some shall learn to breathe.
My physical body is reacting to the forces acting upon the mind. I am tired. Really fatigued. I have allowed myself a break from work since afternoon.
I have almost taken a digitial break. I have not checked my phones, or my work emails or any other way in which people can reach me.
I needed this time off. I needed to disconnect.
I find it mildly amusing, that the only time my mind is allowed (by the world around me) to disconnect is when I am really ill. At all other times, even on the worst of days (esp those on which I am still not classified ill), my family will make demands on me, my work will put immense demands on me, and I will have my own creature habit demands.
On a day like today, I have let everything pause. I have worked 19 years without a pause, and my body is hurting. It wants to ease off. Completely ease off.
Its also clearly saying that if the only way, I am going to take a break (or get a break) is by falling ill, then its going to attack my insides with a vengeance. I can hear the wise voice of my body speak to me.
I truly need to break off from the world at large. Driving feels like escape, but I then need to escape off for a couple of weeks at least.
The break away is coming, so is the break down. Something shall give. Someone will lose. Some shall learn to breathe.
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