Sunday, August 28, 2011

1616 : The entitlement conundrum

Our children (or our generation and the next) is a set, where at least some of us, have seen very little angst and gaps in our lives.

We have lived cosy cloistered existences within the walls of our Civics and 3 bhk apartments in super paranoid complexes full of security guards.

What this is supposed to create is a bunch of kids who are completely “full of themselves”, believing that each of their needs will be pandered to, and the convenience and its associated paraphernalia,  and “a good life” is theirs for an asking – their “entitlement”.

I can see this phenomenon manifesting itself quite clearly in the generation of kids(and adults) I know – those of my friends, those random ones that are playing in the apartment complex and those nutty wannabe adults and PYT at workplaces.

A few serious thinkers have come up with some difficult, but necessary solutions to break this trap (for both adults and kids….for purposes of example…we shall use “kids” in the rest of the post to mean both). I too have been thinking hard, and I believe I have some solutions at hand. And no, this post is not about proselyting those solutions at all…..nor is it about trivial pursuits like “I take my kid of the orphanage every 6 months…and lo she should not have any entitlement issues”….and hilarious bumkum like that.

This post is about painting a caricature of what are the symptoms of an individual (kid or adult) full of her own “entitlement”…..

1) Projection : Very rarely will she present their wishes and desires as their own…especially the “desires” that she knows will be frowned upon….these “wants” will be presented as parts of a larger puzzle. As an example, the kid will tell you, “no Dairy milk papa, I prefer a Toblerone since it is easier to break into pieces.”…No matter how much you rationalise with her, she will refuse to come out and own that she wants a Toblerone, because it is “cooler” and doing a Dairy Milk is infradig. If you are clear-minded you shall see through this “projection” abstraction in a jiffy.

2) In search of the happy path : Serious irritation can be visibly seen in your daughter after she has smudged the brown paper cover of her notebook with her oily hands. and hell no…she is not at all upset that she was careless…but she is over the top that her “inefficient” dad did notice it, and yet he did nothing about it, and now her “perfect world” has been blemished.

3)Will live, will sulk : She will drag her feet with an open shoe lace for the whole day, till an attendant or a teacher, or a parent notices it. She shall not make any attempt to correct it, or learn to try and solve it herself…. instead ( she shall) keep frying her sack, hoping someone else will notice this for her.

4)Those unassailable luxuries : She will want to sleep flat in a car where the five seater already has 5 folks occupying them. She knows its beyond scope, but will pushing for it, not because she is sleepy, but because, she cannot envisage a world where she cannot “push it”.

5) Hierarchy : She will clearly know that the maids, the watchmen, and the those unfortunate “souls” at the orphanage you took her to(Smile), are “lesser” beings. she is the one who has arrived……. as she grow ups, class related rudeness will be part of her vocabulary.


I could give at least 5 more indicators…and some of these as bell weather as a “dick for a male” (I mean if you have a dick you are a male Smile).

But enough said. Will stop. Get the drift?


Is entitlement bad? No it isn’t….really, in absolute terms it does not matter. Its just it will never prepare her for the big bad world…where I can bet my seven lives on…that one day…chips will be down…and she shall be the other side of the car’s window. On that day(notice that I did not say the inane “god forbid” bit….for one, I am bloody atheist, and secondly I firmly believe in yin and yang), she will not be equipped at all to deal with it.

(I have seen personal bankruptcy twice, and I know how instructive some of these life experiences can be.)

And for parents who think….
1)Well she shall never be down, I am building a “rainy reserve” for her OR
2)Whats wrong if she expects the best, she should….else how will be aspire for the better OR
3) She will eventually get it when she grows up, she is only a little child. OR
4) She is such a giving person…last year she gave her “old and unwanted” clothes to the orphanage I take her to OR

For these parents….one word of advice, get your rubber all ready, shiny and lubricated…you are just sitting ducks, waiting in denial…yet about to get royally laid.

Enjoy the fucking ride of coition Smile

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