Friday, August 27, 2010

1240 : Hijacked professors!!


1239 : The Chinese Tumble continues

Had posted on this long ago.

And then last week, I saw this with my nephew. This is the case in which his toy gun came along.

I really think there is a career to be made in China, just editing their English.


If you cannot read well, it says

“Finally Weapon
The Gun of the space warrior”

“Demolishing End!!
It is super to kill the wound dint weapon!”

“Send out the combat
voice of the true condition”


1238 : My child might not be a genius, blame our bloody eugenics and souped up “poroscopy”!!


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If you have  not heard of Avtar Tathagath Tulsi, you are obviously an ostrich who does not read/view media. The whole purpose of  the life of Tathagat and his spin doctor father seem to be conclusively intertwined with “how to project my child to be a genius”.

Its one hell of a hare brained scheme.

The ridiculousness of what the boy genius (who is coincidentally also a fully grown adult moron!!) is there to see and drool over.

Who else when asked

“Whats the most life altering experience in your life?” says

I read Stephen Hawking’s A brief history of time when I was 5, and that book changed my life completely.

(I read this book when I was 17, and I still did not understand it completely. I had read about 50 physics books before that).

You have to read Manu Joseph’s virtual murder of the guy at

Other good rejoinders at Times (the idiots at Benett and Coleman wholeheartedly believe Tulsi is a genius!!)

Most of all don’t miss the Man’s World Article. Its a rip roaring, hell raising, six flag journey of utter madness !! (I could not find it online, so have scanned it out for you folks. Click on the image to see a bigger readable version!!) I have also transcribed it below for the lazy bum in you !!



How to create a genius
Tips on concieving a genius from “boy wonder” Tathagat Tulsi’s father. By Jaideep Dave (from Man’s world – a brilliant local magazine)

Last month, Patna born Tathagat Avtar Tulsi (TAT), 22, who completed his MSC at the age of 12 and made the cut at the Indian Institute of Science, Bangalore at the tender age of 15, joined the IITB physics department and became the youngest ever assistant professor, at the hallowed institute.

If you ask his father, Tusli Prasad, he would probably tell you, that this was completely expected, perhaps even predicted. Recent reports in some Indian newspapers had Prasad claiming that he had “programmed his son to be a genius” even before he was born.

MW caught up with the 63 year old Supreme court lawyer and  former history professor, to find out more about his “genius programme”. Prasad did not reveal much about his “programming language”, saying he would only reveal it, if the government assured him of credit, but he did give us a fair idea about the methodology of a)planning a male(or female) child and b)a genius.

The first step to create a genius child, is to take a fingerprint of both husband and wife, says Prasad. He advocates putting the fingerprint under a microscope - “to get to the pores”. “Fingerprints give a blueprint of the human body. Every person has a unique fingerprint, which is why sleuths use fingerprints to catch criminals”.

Types of Pores.
Through fingerprint analysis, Prasad says he can see the type of pores and their shape, which helps him make inferences about the chromosomes, body structure, skills and even “character” of a human being. “I have theorized that through food and diet proteins you can influence sex chromosomes, and make the x or y chromosome powerful, and thus plan for  a male or female child.”
The main thing here, says Prasad, is which protein – rather which protein combo – influences which chromosome. Even characteristics like height, intelligence etc. which are carried in Chromosomes can be influenced. The framework of his theory, he says, is based on ancient Indian scriptures and science.

Subtle truth.
Prasad metaphysical theory says there are two subtle factors that govern all life. “Bhaav” (roughly translated as emotion) and “buddhi” (roughly translated as intelligence).. He says through fingerprint analysis, he can discern what sort of mood your dad (or your mom) was in, when you were being conceived. “Was your dad dreaming that was he having sex with Hema Malini while you were being conceived”. I say “Well, I don’t think so.”. I use “your”as an indefinite pronoun”, he shoots back. The best way to expound this theory is to hear about Prasad’s own life, which by any standards is a grand experiment.

Population Control.
Prasad’s curiosity about biology was kindled when Hara Gobind Khorana, co won the noble prize for medicine, for his interpretation of his genetic code and its function in protein synthesis in 1968. He started exploring Vedic scriptures for insight into genetics thereafter. Whole working as a history professor at Maithila university, Devusarai, Bihar, in 1974, he “wrote a letter to united nations, at the time it was having a world population conference”. Prasad says he wrote about his “poroscopy” method which could help couples obtain the desired sex for their offspring.
The reply he got from UN “encouraged him”, but they asked him to carry out his research in India. He wanted a lab and a few experts to test his theories, but since no support was forthcoming, he decided to make himself and his future family guinea pigs.

All the genetic professors from Patna university challenges my background. They said how can a history professor talk about biology. To prove them wrong, I decided to marry a woman from Nisherpura, a region in Bihar where female child births dominated. “Who are these professors and what happened to them?”, I ask him. “They are all dead”, he says.

Seed Capital.
After the right woman is “sourced”, says Prasad, you need to make her ready to receive your sperm. If you want to create genius, he says, there has to be “deservation”. “I subjected my wife to diet programme. Most people don’t know how to even source the right woman, let alone practice right sex.” Between 1978, the year he got married, and 1983, he turned her from a non vegetarian, into a vegetarian, and cleansed her body. He too followed a strict regime, a routine he still sticks to. Prasad has a bath before sunrise, then walks 5 kms, and then has a very light breakfast.

After marriage, Prasad and his wife moved to his hometown Gaya. “Mumbai has a lot of miscarriages, Delhi too has. But Kolhapur for intance has very few. Every place has its own influence”.

Three son.
Prasad says he did not have sex with his wife till 1982. His first son, Pitamaheswar, was born in 1983 and is a MA from Delhi university. “My critics said this male child was a fluke and hence I decided to have a second son to prove them wrong.” His second son Vishwapurush was born in 1985, and has completed his LLB from Delhi univ. Tathagat, his third son was born in 1987. “So why did you decide to make only the third child a genius? How come they did not turn out all as bright as Tathagat, I ask him.?” “They are all geniuses”, he says, “in their own way”.

Before and during his wife’s pregnancies, says Prasad, he influenced his own and his wife’s body through a judicious use of proteins. “I created a mix of various dals…Every dal has different mixture of folic acid and protein, is the aadi shakti of the body”, he says, showing me his notes on the prescribed mélange of proteins. One of his charts goes like this : “Chana dal, 20.8 gms in 100 gms, kulti dal 43.2 gms in 100 gms…..”

Silken Touch.
”Even the temperature matter”, says Prasad, especially when the woman is pregnant, “My wife was wearing silk undergarments, because silk has a positive influence on blood circulation”. Outside of course you can wear whatever you want, he adds. “Were you also wearing silk underwear?”, I ask him. “Bhaiya, yeh  bhi kuch puchne ki baat huyi?” (Do you even need to ask?), says Prasad.

Child’s stuff.
The first seven years after the birth of a child are crucial, says Prasad, and can help parents decide on a suitable profession for him or her. “The potential is there, but the onus is on the parents to read it. If your mom and dad knew my theory, they would have probably driven you towards IAS or science instead of journalism. Through Tathagat’s fingerprint analysis, I was able to read his potential”.

Monday, August 23, 2010

1237 : Or maybe I am a fatalist after all? All ready and nowhwere to go

Picture this.
Yesterday I was in this bangalore mumbai go air flight delayed by over 4 hrs.
My second domestic delay in under 6 weeks ( the last one was a 9 hour long wait at mumbai airport )
People at the airport seems agitated with the staff as if bile is the solution to the world's problems.
I could not get myself to even feel for the problem. The only point at which I was slightly iffy was when I was told the flight might be cancelled for the day. My disinterest in even wanting to know the flight status surprised even me. It was not like I was travelling without an agenda. I had my sis and mom waiting back home.
Indifference can either be death or "enlightment achieved under the gauva tree".
Choice is yours ))

1236 : Money lives, money masters

I can't but help marvel how money is so central to our "sense of belonging".
I have come across many definitions of "green" the best being EF Schumacher calling it a "privilege to own/expend natural resources".

It amazes me how much power and reassurance this "privilege" exerts over mankind. I perceive this obsession as man's perennial struggle to view his essentially non deterministic life’s events, through an "illusory lens" of determinism.
Money gives us this false promise of "control" and for years the best amongst us have been suckered into it.

The smarter ones will take a step back and realize that money is good for an iphone4, is essential for the new 5 series - but that's about where it all ends.
Ask the 20 million in pakistan who are fighting a flood.

Am I a fatalist ? Nope not yet, but I don't believe it helps in being deterministic beyond a single day (quite literally live for the day!!). The rest is still being churned by the universe's number cruncher (to eventually exgurgiate 42 )

Till then, our intermediate fascination with numbers and size will continue to molly coddle us. Its only blood that eventually moves the body. Thought for the day - Red is a far more relevant color than green!!

1235 : Babies choose us and not the other way around‏

They choose us because of our "story so far".Another good reason to rack up all that good karma today, what say ))

1234 : How often in a day do you sit and wonder " I don't relate to the conversation going on"‏

To me it happens quite a many times....and I often sit in silence and the world a big ponzi scheme or is it just me ?

1233 : Char yaar drink life a lemon?‏

A few friends got together and were discussing the world, it problems, the state of the nation, and our maternal uncles ))
As I sat through this it occurred to me that my current challenges in life involve none of the above.
Me....the self obsessed me....sat through vacillating between the perceived lemon and the desired yummy orange.

1232 : Alice just lost her way !!

A team member clicked this and send it out. Am publishing this without permission :-)

1231 : Good burgers

Grafitti from Bangalore times 22nd Aug
"These burgers must be good....a thousand flies cannot be wrong !!"

1230 : CWG - Coital games maybe?

I read this story where Mani Shankar Iyer, Rajya Sabha MP, alleging that the government was encouraging trafficking and prostitution for the showpiece Commonwealth games.

Of specific interest to me was this bit within the article (sic!!)
"When Naco said it was putting up 150 condom vending machines at the Games village, I was stunned. These are to be exclusively used for athletes and there are estimates that 3000-3300 condom packs a day to be used. If there are 2 condoms per pack, it means that 1,00,000 contraceptives are expected to be used. What kind of games are these athletes playing?"

Games adults play :-)

1229 : Who is a duhhhh or variously "What is porn?"

If you don't know the answer, welcome to the loser's club. This one is from the Bangalore Mirror, Sunday edition 22nd August. Needless to say from Dr. Mahinder Watsa's legendary askthesexpert ....hic hic hurray :-)

I recently heard about porn. What is this? What is the use of it? Where can we see it?
Learn to use a dictionary or get information from the Internet. Porn material is that which excites sexual desires. Although illegal, it is found in print movies, videos etc. The only time advised by sexologists is for ageing couples whose sex life has become boring or almost nil. Where are they available - use your detective instincts.

Am I part of an ageing couple with nil sex life....well, let me think :-))

(From the same column ...another howlarious one).
I am 25 year old married woman. My husband's elder sister is a doctor. She tests my breasts and vagina once a month. I am really fed up with her behavior. Even though my husband knows about this, he supports his sister's views. I cannot escape from the situation. What is your advice?
Why not ask her what is she doing the examination for. It is your body, so you have the right to object to the invasion of your privacy. My guess is that they are keen you conceive.

My advice never marry if your potential sis-in-law is a doctor :-)

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

1228 : Four letters f**** things

A few days was having this drawing room debate.

“What do you constitute as Identity and Belonging to a location?”

We rambled and debated for quite some time. In summary, for me, locational identity (for me its primarily Bombay and not India)

- Friends
- Family
- Fun
- Food

Game. Set. Match!!

1227 : Metaphor(s) on a green rainy day

Picture this.

I get out of office at 615pm. My sis has come down to visit me @ Bangalore, wanted to catch a few precious hours with her.

I reach the lobby and its quite literally red earth and pouring rain…..(Vikram Chandra….do you hate me!!)

My sis is waiting at a food court close to office (and she is without a phone).

How do I get there without getting drench?

I go down to my parking, open my car’s boot and hunt out for a umbrella….and lo!!

My umbrella is an old green one, belonging to my previous firm. I take it out and in the midst of a competitor, I walk shamelessly with the dark brooding green umbrella.

I should have felt very sheepish; and yet ironically, (and strangely), I felt a part of me swell in pride, almost taking in with pride the incredulous look I was getting from bystander colleagues.

Delightful irony – what saved me on a rainy day was an old green (close to the heart) umbrella!!


Sunday, August 15, 2010

1226 : The white bright moon!!

(Again a tripod helped)


1225 : Blackberry or my nuts!!

I don’t know how you are interpreting the “Indian government's demand for Blackberry message access”….

For me, its a terrible violation of my little illusion of privacy. Big brother is almost close to my bedroom!!

Next time, need to be careful…before spousey and I romp around :-)

1224 : I crave for….

A bit of real physical silence in my life.  Sometimes the decibel of everyday life can be quite deafening !!

1223 : To live is to…

I was talking to someone yesterday and was in my elemental preachy self :-)

He asked me, what in my opinion is “life”….was almost tempted to answer “42”, but refrained.

To me, life is this continuous movement in a direction where one breaks charades and see the underlying reality. A la almost “search for boson particle”.

In everyday life, if you paint, you push yourself to paint better and better (whatever better means to you). If you drive, or wash cars, or dance or whatever…the same truism prevails.

At the point we become complacent, and believe we are in steady state….our process of dying begins.

The minute we compromise, the process of dying begins…(but we all compromise, does that we are all dying all the time…YES!!)

My favorite analogy in this territory remains, “ever seen how a working lady – seems to age 5 years in one – once she stops working”….or for that matter, my own dad looked 70 a year post he retired at 60.

Does that mean, we should work till we die….not really, but we should definitely have that driving ambition to get better at something…cooking, photography, gardening, singing, a new language maybe.

To not aspire to grow is to die….and we often assume we have “arrived” in life….a little too early than usual….and that my friend, is the beginning of the end.

If you understand what I have tried to preach here (how terrible !!), you will know what drives a Buffet or a Dick Fuld, or a Ratan Tata.

Let the war begin. The battlelines are irrevocably drawn!!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

1222 : The home that Jill built, the house that jack brought down!!

I remember how very much, over years, I used to look forward to visiting your home….admiring….the ribald paintings on the walls….fascinated… the splash of gory colors and poignant dew….envy…..the harmony of your apparent being ….surreptitiously……always wanting to be part of this picture perfect tale….all the time…secretly wishing I was an integral part of you.

Yesterday, when I walked in…..I could not help notice the how decrepit the walls had come….tears of rain water running through the cracks….how cracked up the color in the canvas’ had become…the discordant notes chaffing at the old wooden doors…..the slight bit of edginess in the air that the wind was spewing…..the house seemed to have lost its soul….you seemed old and haggled…..I looked at you, and was almost happy that you were
“you” and not “us”…..the silent song seemed to be losing its clammy charm.

As I exited, and took the long walk back home, alone, could not help not correlate how my view of your house, seemed to meld in so and our dangle dangerously with own little downhill story.

Did Jack and Jill every really go up this hill?

1221 : Ever met a palindrome….this post….my mom….story continues!!

Friday, August 13, 2010

1220 : Random musings

Weary. You want to run against the wind, your mind is tired and discharged – almost like a run amok sound factory. You sit and ponder what could have been.

Memory. A photo is more than an image to me, just like a music is more than harmony to me. It moves me – something shifts. Makes me want to go out and aggrandize.

Poyhum. Have been struggling to put pen on paper for quite some days now. A sign that there is clutter and chaos that needs spring cleaning. Its poignant to remember, we are still in the beginning of a harsh winter.

Indebted. I have been consistently putting off for tomorrow, what should ideally have been done yesterday. The irony is not lost on me – some day there shall neither be a bright tomorrow nor a heavy yesterday.

Edge. Every transaction has an edge, has a border, a nameless corner, beyond which lies the unknown. Sometimes I have gone out, and discovered water outside the well, and at others I have fallen over the precipice. Am at an edge again – what should I do? The idea of discovering new waters does not necessarily motivate me like it once did.

Old. When new waters don’t tingle tangle you.

Carbon copy. The term acquires new meanings, when you realize that humans are pre-demoninantly composed of carbon (other than water and oxygen). My little one is quite literally my carbon copy.

Old. Is also the end of new.

Musings. What you meditate upon.

Random. All our lives, our decisions, our waters and our blood…nothing more than a bunch of probablity.

Ashes. Again carbon. Your ashes are always within you, they just choose a right moment to become apparent.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

1219 : Haiku : The smooth thickens

Engulfed into the thick hard skin’s lathery lard,
An underscore of a smooth silent knife,
Still life is still so very easy !!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

1218 : Mustt Mustt Intoxicated

I do especially long for my sis’s specially brewed mulled wine. Unable to decide whether I miss her (and my little family) more or  is the plain simple pang of warm fuzzy red alcohol :-)

Whatever it was, it must have been bloody goddamned good….else my hair would not have been in a tingle :-)

1217 : The pregnant bride wore white

A gorgeous someone(muah!!) in my life is reading “Mills and Boons : The Pregnant Bride Wore White”.

From the blurb

“Keri Overton thought her one night of passion with Jake McCoy would be her only memory of him - until she discovered she was pregnant with his child. Fortunately a safe haven beckoned: Jake's hometown of Chance City. Too bad he was out of town. Permanently, it seemed.
But imagine her surprise at a surprise baby-shower guest: the child's father! And everyone expected these "soul mates" to marry, so marry they did. Could their in-name-only union possibly turn into the real thing?”



Suddenly the “everyday surprises” in Bengaluru seem to so completely pale over in comparison :-)))))

Love ya gorgeous….you made me roll and laugh like a baby today !!

Sunday, August 08, 2010

1216 : Dark clouds loomed over the tip of the urban iceberg !!!


1215 : Urban Decay …what a lament

(Neded a tripod for this)


1214 : Food, finally some real food !!

Finally, a really good place to eat at Bangalore. Grameen @ Raheja Arcade close to Forum mall is possibly one of the finest food places, I have never enjoyed North Indian food so much.

Highly recommended are the Kofta Kadhi and Alio Jeera,

The aloo jeera, a simple enough dish – can be so mouthwateringly and tantalising complex in terms of flavours which roll in your mouth. Simple outstanding !!

Possibly my take away meal every weekend.

Rating 10/10 so far.

1213 : approved BY tourism OF Department

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1212 : Innovative uses of Navel


1211: Modak – Organic food

In Koramangla at Bangalore, is this nice organic food joint called Modak. Its a typical “ghati” (Maharashtrian…and I mean to use the term in  a loving familiar way….) food place.

We have been there twice already. The food is simple, nice and Organic (with a capital O…:-))

Its difficult to put a foot wrong here if you like non-spicy, western India, organic vegetarian food.

The food is hot and piping, almost home style. A typical thali (all ingredients unlimited) would set you back by around 140INR.

I would recommend this highly to someone who wants a lazy mom-like home food.

Overall 8/10. Already in my favourite places list in Bangalore – in addition to Toscano @ UB City.


Saturday, August 07, 2010

1210 : The sleeping tree (has possibly) died again!!

I have been using this phrase for quite some time. In the past few days, the phrase has acquired a new deeper meaning for me, almost like a zen koan I just understood.

The sleeping tree just died !!


Sunday, August 01, 2010

1209 : Conspiracy theory …. the blood that moves the hog

Iranian officials have claimed that Philip Morris stains cigarettes with pig blood before exporting it to Tehran, in order to defile their faith.

Now how contrived is that?

I can almost imagine, Philip Morris instructing their staff,

“This batch of Marlboro Lights is scheduled for Tehran. Here is a bucket full of hog blood. Dip  each stick in this blood, before you ship it. The quality check process will include “hog stain” mark.”

The limits of human ingenuity are truly the “ridiculous” and the “stupid”.

1208 : Would you buy a make believe TV?


Wonder where Sony gets its branding strategy from?

How hare brained can a tag line be?

I crave for the day, Sony said “Live in your world, play in ours”