So he comes back and tells me, he feels "unsettled"...and feels the need to "settle". Usually in an Indian context "settling" means marrying (and "clearing" means divorcing....heehaw....just invented the last bit there :-)
I knew though, that he was in some sense married. Not knowing him enough, I did push for the details - but did ask him "what does he mean by settling".
"Time to buy a house."
Me - "So is the availability an issue".
"No, its just that if I spend money on a house all I shall be left with is xyz as savings left at the bank. And I am not comfortable with that."
(Now xyz was a sum larger than my annual salary and probably 15 times more than the amount I currently have in my bank account.)
Further conversation revealed that he had "two" kids - both in their school - and he feared for them not having the best in life - if he chose to buy the house.
(Remember, I barely know him, so I had to keep distance even while talking).
In summary, it was his "camel syndrome" (do I have enough water in my back for a rainy day?) that was killing him, making him unhappy and "unsettled".
I am very unequivocal in my head on this topic. Money is a means to wealth, to a right on bits of the earth, to buy yourself a "life" experience. Money in the bank is useless, to the degree that its almost a dis-respect to "life" - a denial of "experiences".
I too have cash in bank to survive a month or two - should something go wrong, but thats where it ends. If the "problem" continues for longer - my view is, if I am just as resourceful, as I am today, then I shall figure it out. I have been bankrupt twice in my "limited" lifespan....and both times - I dont think I could have controlled the bankruptcy or my coming out of it - a variety of external forces conspired with(and against me) for either of those results.
My learnings from those personal lows has been to tell myself - that "too much planning" in these issues, usually in fact, ends up significantly impacting your ability to deal with "uncertainty" - which strangely enough - is why you wanted the "cash" security in the bank account anyways.
I have often been told - add "kids" into the equation and your perspective will change. I hope for my own good, that is just a decoy. I continue to want to glare back at life, stare back at bankruptcy, and holler back at disease and degeneration - because I know, in my heart - the day I stop doing any of these - I shall begin the process of "personal dying".
In summary, my (possibly naive) view of life is - stumble, tumble, dont grumble, but let it rumble.....
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