Its 8pm in the evening, and I feel like weeping out aloud….and I don’t remember the last time I sobbed (nah…its nothing to do with the macho-bacho thing….its just that my tear glands went barren a few years ago )
Strangely, it comes on a day, when my sis told me a rather amusing (in retrospect, our whole fucking lives are so goddamned amusing and awesome) of a day when she started randomly bawling (years ago).
And no, hell no, I see, not even a vague co-relation between her (suspiciously) similar tale and my own random act of water pumping.
So why do I want to cry?
Unhappy. Hell, no.
Sad. Not that I know of.
Tired. Maybe, yes, but whoTF weeps because he is tired.
Melancholy. I lug a bag of that around all the time….it feels part of me….so no wasting water on this business.
Confused. Who is not in these times and age.
Bored. Definitely not.
Wanting. What? I have everything and more of everything I ever wanted.
Love. Have tons of it.
Kisses. Get a dozen and a score everyday from my loved ones.
Gems. Too old those tiny pellets :-)
So whatTF is it?
Don’t exactly know. But the only word that comes to my fingers (am typing dumbos), is a word called “fading”.
What does fading mean?
In actuality, it means “Nothing”. And yet, it means, on the going away…..
So, what is fading? I don’t know.
Why cry for something you don’t know? Possibly, because “I don’t know”, I feel like crying.
Crying is a privelege life offers us when we feel something is “fading” in our guts, but cannot point at and ascertain. That probably explains my random desire to eye pee :-)
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