This post is heavy, I have struggled to put in words what is not even essentially conveyed via spoken words. So bear with me, read this when you have some spare time to contemplate, I promise you if I manage to convey (a bit) what I want, you might start off a "riot of rumination"....
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The jackshit-pyschobabble guy that I am.....recently, with a friend of mine (Vivek Menon), I was postulating the concept of "quest". What is the "quest"?
In my head, from time immemorial, all living (and non-living) beings have constantly been in search (actually more of a "finding" kind of search, than a gold-digging kind of search). This search is for what I call as the "truth", the "reality behind the facade".
Not exactly the matrix kind, but almost similar. Why is it not the same?
My "quest" is not the sexy matrix variety, where all world reduces to maya (and some numbers dropping on a green screen), My "quest" is the search for the "resting place" the optimum balance.
When a goldsmith, strives for the perfect smoothness, he is in search of the quest. When a carpenter is irked by the lack of "absolute straight line" (while to the naked un-trained eye it is already straight) that is the quest. When a musician listening to Bhairavi, detects a false Struti (the in-between notes which are difficult to detect, especially to us gross human beings, who cannot even fathom the difference between a SA and a PA) that is the quest. When your mom makes chutney using a hand ladle than the 600W grinder, that is the quest. When your tiny baby seeks the mom's bossom, rather than the comfort of the crib, that is the quest. When the plant seeks to have its roots deep into the soil, in search of a possible water table, that is the quest.
In short the quest
1. Is driven by pursuit of a natural instinct. A desire to find joy in everyday karma (strangely this might be construed as perfection - but in my opinion that is only but a side effect).
2. Is not driven by a material or social desire. Your mum does not strive to make chutney with the ladle because she craves for your slurps of appreciation, instead, she believes it to the "way", the "path" to reach an end. Money, fame, recognition, is not even passing through the minds of the folks who are executing the karma.
3. Is usually the path of least resistance to those who have find it. The river flows in a particular path not because of randomness, but because it has found the path via the quest.
4. Is not a choice, but an internal drive forced upon us by our fundamental foundation. An atom is constantly seeking the orbit of the "right" energy. It does not do this out of choice. Its an irrefutable law that does not have a compromise.
The last point also means, that "the quest" is not just limited to living beings, even inanimate objects seek quest - the only difference being.....they have already arrived and found it. E.g. a rock has already found its quest, it is in a stable resting state.
100 years ago, my great great grandfather who probably was a farmer or a priest, was driven by this quest while he went about his karma. He was closer to his fundamental nature in that sense. He strove to be a better blacksmith - to make a more round sickle - not because someone would pay him a few more annas but because it would show him a small glimpse of the "gigantic truth" which we all naturally gravitate towards.
But today.....? The contrast is out there.
What we have done is, replaced the quest with a single demi-god? Wealth and material success. That is the new poster child. Hence we see today everyone abandoning his/her internal quest in search of wealth. That was one of the drivers, even 100 years ago, but today, it is the only driver, and on its altar are sacrificed a billion "dreams" (a dream is nothing but a quest).
One might argue, is not a desire for wealth a "quest" as well. It could be, but it is not, simply because today it is fundamentally driven by peer pressure by the "poster boy" of the new world order.
Still not buying the drift?
Well, how many people you know tell you that they stopped writing poetry because studies took the time away? Don't friends ever tell you, I used to play good flute, but stopped it, once my promotion happened, "now who has time?" How many times do you encounter a couple, where both are "still working" and leaving the child with a nanny, not because they both love their job, but because the money is essential and they feel that their child might be deprived of a Honda Civic. These and many more are the straight-cut examples of ignoring your own desire for the "quest".
Now comes the weird bit of my theory? (Prepare for heavy work again :-))
I sincerely believe "the quest" is like a journey you undertake - you can alter the route many times, you can read the signboards wrong a few times, you can miss road signs a few times - but sometimes you are so far away down a particular road, that driving back and correcting a "wrong route" is almost impossible - because you have run out of fuel/time, and more importantly you have now entered a land-zone where "location services - GPS" are absent. You no longer can plot your position on a longitude-latitude axis and hence you have lost the plot. Present location is "unknown" and hence tracing back to the "quest" is impossible unless randomness gives you a freak chance.
In short, you have now in what buddhists call as the "gross" territory. Your mind cannot fathom anything beyond the most inane and basic thoughts. Complexity be damned is the new mantra. ADD (attention deficiet disorder) is the new diet.
Summary
1. Remember "The Quest" is the "natural level" where we can all find our steady sailing. Its never a choice, its a journey of the spirit, every animate(and inanimate ) being must traverse.
2. If we lose our way due to blind-side, we can usually correct the course. But if you ignore the path of the journey for long enough and drive long enough on a different trail - finding the calling again is usually impossible.
3. "The quest" is none of the below:
- Good to have
- Materialistic in nature
- Has any social consequences whatsoever
- Has affiliation to any desire
4. The quest is an intensely personal journey of the spirit. You have no audiences to play to, no one to make good-bad judgements, no "ideal state", no landmark, and there is never an end to the journey. You end only when you have found the steady state - a position of rest, until the next journey begins - very much like the Atom in its Bohr Orbit. It is what the scriptures call as Nirvana - a river which has found the path of least resistance, has found Nirvana.
Endword:
Vivek did not get much of this at all. Not because he is a Duhh, but rather because I was trying to explain this abstract topic to him in a very un-intelligible way. I don't think I have done too much justice today, but I must remind you, I dont think I can do any better. Its difficult to explain Nirvana to others, especially when you are still questing for it, and have only felt the butt of the elephant :-)