Sunday, November 12, 2006

Post 195 : Innocent Drinks 3


the rest of this is verbatim from this blog :


Last week, as some of you will be aware, I sent the followingemail to Innocent drinks (producers of Innocent Smoothies):

Hello, my name is Joe, and I'm a bananaphobe.I can't stand to be near the "evil yellow fruit", the sight is unsettling for me, and the smell quite literally makes me sick.This makes drinking your smoothies somewhat problematic, I've tried the yoghurty stuff, but it's just not fruity enough, please tell me you have plans to produce a fruit packed smoothie sans banana?
Yours Banana hatingly hopeful
Joe Archer

They just replied with the following:
Hello Joe,Thanks very much for your e-mail. We're sorry to hear you're a bananaphobe. The problem is that bananas do their job so well, as they're great for natural texture, that it's really difficult to find something else to take their place. Our product development team are always on the look out for a natural alternative because we know not everyone loves them, but it's going to take time. The only banana-freedrinks we have are our juicy waters and thickies (apart from the banana& cinnamon thickie), but I'll certainly pass on your request. All the best,Row!

Post 194 - Innocent Drinks 2

As I said in an earlier post, am a life loyal fan of Innocent Drinks.

Love their tongue in cheek conversation style in which they try and relate the product to you.

On their Pomegranate, Blueberry & Acai - natural detox juice ; the ingredients reads

82 squashed grapes
2 1/2 mashed bananas,
1 pressed pomegranate (12%)
1 1/2 freshly squeezed oranges
1 cowboy hat *
200 crushed blueberries (5%)
133 acai berries (4%)
and a squeeze of fresh lemon juice.

For the *, the bottom of the pack reads 'yee ha'

Else where the pack reads
Acai - The brazalian super-berry that contains Omega - 6 and 9, is high in anti-oxidants that protect cells from the damage caused by free radicals and will even clean your car #

and the bottom # reads 'not really'.

Elsewhere :
Detoxing is pretty simple. First of all, cut out the bad stuff. Check all pockets for any stray cream buns. Then start adding super-nutritious stuff to your diet.

So the good news is that by drinking one portion of this smoothie, you'll get the same amount of anti-oxidants provided by your average 5 fruit and vegetables a day. But that does not mean you should not have some veggies with your dinner. No excuses.

and the top of the pack reads : (with their usual smilie, each of their juices has a unique smilie on them, like the photo below)

'Please keep me in the fridge and shake me before pouring*'

* it helps if the cap's on

I love this brand......

Post 193 : Platonic relationships

How do you define a platonic relationship (PR) - well, 'one that has no traditional definition'.

A close friendship, a stranger who becomes a sister, a girl who is a boy's best friend or vice versa (dont ask me why same sex friendship seems exempted)......a lady who becomes a mother, an youngster who treats you like a father......

In all of these, what do we crave for? Does PR provide money - hell no, unless you mix in some complicated will and inheritance structure - Does PR provide love - not really, yes, a semblance of it, but it is still not really a full time relationship (by its very definition) - Does PR provide caring and succor - not sure.....

Yet, most of us, and that includes me, treat these unorthodox relationships very gingerly, with more love and trepidation than we would deal with 'defined' relationships. We dont want to commit the same mistakes that we have already committed elsewhere. We dont want to burn bridges like we have done in the past.

I have my share of platonic relationships, and at times I philosophically wonder, is there a hidden agenda which I have in any of them. (Not that I can easily identify one, just wondering).

Like this mom I have, who is not my mom, yet she is my mom, I treat her like one, and accord everything I accord my mom. I possibly love and care for her, as much as I do for any other person in my life......or the father, the same story...or the girl who is my sister (yet not my sister.....

Yet it is not like a traditional relationship, yet stronger......weird part is, its difficult to define what I expect out of these relationships.

I do value them, but still, the question nags me, is there a hidden expectation? For my own good, and the good of the blue planet, I hope not. A lot of 'platos' would die, if it turned out otherwise......

Post 192 : The cruelity of human kind

I gave up eating meat in Jan 2003, and by Jan 2006, was almost off meat, except for eggs.

What pushed me over, was John Robbins, the food revolution - a sassy take on what wrong with the way we produce meat.

I also was steadily realizing the violence it causes in the world.

I am amazed to see channels like 'travel and living' make a mockery of other living beings. You see Jackie Chan, walk into a restuarant, pick up a fish from a tank and have it withering on the chef's table, all the while while the camera is panning on the chef and Chan talking about the merits of eating fresh fish......holy fish, cut the crap.

Mr. Chan, have you ever lived without oxygen for even 10 seconds of your life. If yes, you know how miserable the feeling is, and yet we (without batting an eyelid) - put a fish through such torture, before finally (and equally cruelly) slashing it down its neck.

Or the other show, where some sassy chinko-american babe, takes a monster crab (almost the size of a large parattha - in dimensions i mean), puts it into the freezer - why? - well to make it immobile, and straight out the freezer into the boiling water of a pressure cooker. Whoa!! the crab must have surely enjoyed it.

I have a very perverse sense of justice....I am sure in the ages to come, the world will be owned by the sharks of the water (or someone equivalent). Can you imagine what their TV show will be like.

Camera pans - on this huge grisly teethy shark - who shows a watertight container full of oxygen, in which it has trapped Mr. Chan's baby. It dangles the container for the television to see. The chef, opens the container, and lays the baby on the table. The baby is writhing, choking - wondering what the f**k is happening, and more importantly why 'me'?.

All this while, the sharks are admiring the writhing baby, its complexion, the chinese nose (remember its Mr. Chan's baby) - 'oh, what a fine specimen'......

Then suddenly without warning the chef chews off the baby's head. Whoa!! a hit cooking show in 'Waterworld'.

Look, I am not living a glass house - I use leather, I use candles, I drink honey, I eat capsules made of gelatin (made of cow's intestine) - yes, I do....but probably, I am hoping that the cruelity in these cases happen away from prying eyes - or better still, they are instantaneous - like shock or high impact instant death.

Friends, eat meat, but don't please make a mockery of life, don't make a living out of cruelity.

If the world is even half as interconnected (as various religions tell me), we probably have had accumulated more than a million times more negative karma, than we can ever handle. Give life a chance, give karma a chance......

And God, (yes, I am an atheist....but you don't need my belief to exist, do you?), make Mr. Chan, and the sassy shapely chinko babe - a equally shapely fish and crab in their next birth. Can you please pullease do that?

Post 191 : Divorce never seems easy

I went through a process similar to divorce last week, no...nothing related to my wife ....(no, not my concubine either)!!! Something similar to divorce, but a very corporatish tradition.

I have been through something like this before. It never seems easy. Everytime it gets more difficult. One queer observation though, it also seems that parties involved already seemed to have made up their mind, even before the actual D date, making a mockery of the D proceeding....almost a pre-determined conclusion to a drama-baazi in corporate world.

I felt this odd stab you get, similar to one (probably) which a chef gets when he kills a live fish.

What am I trying to saying above. Well, nothing.....actually....just that corporate rituals at times make me unusually philosophical (hell, thats a ghoulish concocction, right).

Post 190 : Case of missing pens

If you work in a corporate world like I do, this is a mystery for you. Do doff your holmes' hats and hit it....

All corporates have a stationery supply. Typically they stock in cheap run of the mills (literally) pens. We as corporate citizens (or shenanigans .. to wit!!), tend to subsist on these pens.

In the past 6 months, I must have doffed at least 20 pens of the stationery box, never-once writing the pen to finish even 1/10 of its refill. I seem to lose these pens all the time.

I confronted my friends and colleagues, and almost everyone has a similar story to boot. To make this story glue tight, I ask my reprographic team - and they tell me on an average a floor of 400 consumes 1000 pens at least per month.

Where the f**k do these pens go? It almost seems to be as if there is a diabolic plan by these pen companies which includes the janitors - these janitors might have monthly targets to meet - so for example if a cleaner does not produce 100 pens/month and supply it back to the pen manufacturers, they lose their bonus.....surely there must be a hair brained scheme like this at the back of this, or how else do you explain 2.5 pens/person/month.

Surely, if no-one is siphoning them slyly, then if I lose a pen, someone in the ecosystem should find it, but thats not true.

'The case of missng pens' - maybe thats a case of the hordes of CCTV in the office. Hey Security, get to work.

Post 189 : Mid-day Cartoons 31 (Sweeper wins lottery)

Source : Mid-day Artist : Hemant Morporia Date : 11th Nov 2006

Post 188 : Music is forever young, its we who grow old

My musical tastes have been broadly stuck in the 80s and 90s ( I mean esp. for rock and pop music, and this is not really about hindi film music or ghazals) - and I for one, have dispassionately maintained that this was a clear sign of my growing old, unable to keep pace with the world around me.

In the past 20 days, I have had an early morning dose of MTV europe...and you know how MTV is, plays hip hop fresh music served straight up.....and guess what, I can connect to the vibes, and am enjoying Brit music - Killers, Beyonce, Timberlake, Oasis - just the way it is meant to be.

Probably, come to think of it, I am not really growing so old after all, also, more importantly - probably its just Mumbai is no longer warm to western influences (when I was growing up Channel V, MTV Asia, Times FM, Radio Mid-day - all played steady rock and roll and pop and hop hop and grunge - all souped up and ready everyday.

Today, MTV Asia - even the VJs cant speak english, channel V is a deaf dingo - blares only crass hindi commercial stuff, all radio channels sound the same - yeah, crappy, cudgely wudgely and hugely boring.

Maybe there is market for a straight clean hip station and channel in Mumbai.

Wrod to Worldspace and VH1!!

Post 187 : The mystery of a posthumous Nobel

I was seeing Seinfeld yesterday, and in an episode called 'The Lip Reader', there was this talk about Dag Hjalmar Agne Carl Hammarskjöld - who the footnote (additional DVD notes) told me had won a posthumous Nobel in 1961.

All along, I have been reading about Gandhi missing the Nobel prize because he died a few days before it was awarded to him. There is famous quote:

Gandhi could do without the Nobel Peace Prize. Whether the Nobel committee can do without Gandhi, is the question.:-Secretary of the Norwegian Nobel Committee, Geir Lundestad

Whoa!! Am I missing something, how come Dag could get it but not Gandhi?

Life has mysteries tucked up all across its face.

Post 186 : Mid-day Cartoons 30 ( The killing fields of Saddam and his hanging by the world)

Source : Mid-day Artist : Hemant Morporia

Post 185 : Mid-day Cartoons 29 ( Low cost housing Carter Style)

Source : Mid-day Artist : Hemant Morporia

Post 184 : Mid-day Cartoons 28 (Bird Lover)

Source : Mid-day Artist : Hemant Morporia

Post 183 : Mid-day Cartoons 27 ( Undercover Cop)

Source : Mid-day Artist : Hemant Morporia

Post 182 : Mid-day Cartoons 26 ( Firing Missles)

Source : Mid-day Artist : Hemant Morporia

Monday, November 06, 2006

Post 181 : Yeah, right...and I am George Bush

My Sis-in-law was telling me about a real-life funny incident.

Her brother who is in the US, has a lot of desi mallu friends.

Malayalis have some very funny names like Baby, Lovely, Shiny - they also have historical names like Stalin, Hitler, Washington, Lincoln, Churchill.....

Her brother a few of his mallu friends walk into a bar in New Jersey. After a few drinks the bartender, gets friendly with them and asks them their names. The first two go, 'Washington' and 'Lincoln' - their real names.

And the bartender goes ' Yeah, right ... I am George Bush!!!'....

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Post 180 : Movie 3 (Nagesh Kukunoor's Dor)

Watched Nagesh Kukunoor’s Dor…..I thought it was different and good at the same time. I won’t run you down with its story, just google it, if you want to find it.

What I like about it:
Music – Has Yeh Hosla by Shauqat Amanat Ali Khan
Acting – Both Ayesha Takia and Gul Panang
Gul Panang – I have a different take on beauty from the rest of the world, and in world Gul must be somewhere at the top. I would almost be inclined to call her the thinking man’s girl. Other than her, Sushmita Sen and Priyanka Chopra – I can’t really think of any other paegent winner who really brought any beauty to the table. (Aishwarya, Tanushree Dutta and the haydens of the world be damned).

Shreyas Talpade – Handsome, witty and brilliant
Rajasthan – the way it is.
Himachal Pradesh – the way it is
Feminism – subtle yet measured, the way the movie spells it out

What I did not like about it:
The story and the theme falter at times. Esp. I wonder, why in India would you really travel 1000 miles to get the signature of someone who you know wont give it to you, and the best part, it does not ever appear that the signature would never be matched, audited and verified. I think in real life, someone would just forge it, than go through this trouble. Though I hear Dor is based on a real story.
Cliches – the movie does have its share of clich√©s, which could have been avoided, like having parents-in-law who trouble a widow, come on Nagesh…..or the part where the grandma widow bounds with the young widow…..awwwwwww!!!

What would I rate it – 8/10

Overall – Go watch it, it is far better than Krishh and the sib-standard fare you are normally dished out.

My previous post on movies

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Post 179 : Music 8 (Yeh Hosla - Dor)

The song Yeh Hosla from Dor tends to grow on you.....Its again by our Mitwa-Fuzon singer Shauquat Amanat Ali Khan.

He has sung this with so much passion, its almost another 'Mitwa'....If you can see it with the video, it will give you goose pimples.

Yeh Hosla Kaise Juke,
Yeh Aarzoo Kaise Ruke

Manzil Muskil to kya,
Bundla Sahil to kya,
Tanha Ye Dil to Kya
Ho Hooo

Raah Pe Kante Bikhre agar,
Uspe to phir bhi chalna hi hai,
Saam Chhupale Suraj magar,
Raat ko ek din Dhalana hi hai,

Rut ye tal jayegi,
Himmat rang layegi,
Subha phir aayegi

Yeh Hosla Kaise Juke,
Yeh Aarzoo Kaise Ruke

Hogi hame to rehmat ada,
Dhup kategi saaye tale,
Apni khuda se hai ye Dua,
Manzil lagale humko gale

Zurrat so baar rahe,
Uncha Ikraar rahe,
Zinda har pyar rahe

Yeh Hosla Kaise Juke,
Yeh Aarzoo Kaise Ruke

Top songs for 2006 so far (in order):
1. Mitwa (KANK)
2. Yeh Hosla (Dor)
3. Beedi (Omkara)
4. O Saathi Re (Omkara)
5. Dekho Na (Fanaa)
6. Tere Bin (Bas Ek Pal)

Post 178 : My boy was just like me – Cats in the cradle

My dad is a ultra conservative person in his habits and lifestyle. Being a tam bram, he never smoked or boozed, but even in terms of his usual diet, he was very defensive.

We hardly used to go ‘out’ to eat( as in a restaurant), it was sometimes as low as once in a year. Not even on birthdays and anniversary…and hell, no, he was not stingy….he just thought outside food was too spicy and oily.

My brother, mother and I used to ridicule him often around this, and he used to silently bear it.

I have now had severe health problems for 7 years, and in these years my diet has been steadily becoming more and more conservative (some of the medicines I have offend my digestive track, much more than they would like….)

I used to love wada-pav, pav-bhaji and the ilk (street food) – I am completely off it now – I gave up meat because I did not subscribe to it - I was never for fizzy drinks and deserts – I used to like milk sweets (the traditional Indian myriad), but have been forced to give it up in the last 1 year – have less than 1-2 spoons of direct sugar per day – typically now prefer a simple dal-rice – I can’t have rotis because they have gluten (my dad always stayed away from rotis and it used to surprise me as a kid)….the list runs on

My only indulgence still left is – having tea by the litre – I think this shall remain ….you ask why? Well, my dad still does it.

Come to think of it, I have become just like my dad. Probably, I am guessing he had the same problems like I do, but never felt comfortable telling us about it.

I feel sad, bad and had (yes, life has ‘had’ me.)

Dad, forgive me…and if you can, please sing ‘Cats in the cradle’ for me….

We all become like our dads/moms and the generation gone by, its just that some of us never actually look at their lives with a sympathetic eye.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Post 177 : Chickenless soup for the soul – Buddha is still alive

Yesterday in the pantry, I ordered Pilau Rice (that’s how the English floozies pronounce (and spell) pulav)….pilau rice to me sounds to me like (make-them-drink-rice…a bombayite would understand what I mean).

With the rice, I ordered veg curry. The duffer of the server conveniently put chicken tikka on top of this, and the bigger duffer (I) took it and walked away.

I take a table, open the box, and lo…..its chicken. Do you waste food, would Buddha waste already cooked and served chicken?

I tried eating it and then gave up, the reason I found the feeling of meat against my teeth revolting. In that single moment, I achieved Nirvana…I had arrived in life.

Whoaaa? What?

A bit of background. I am a Tam bram (Tamil Brahmin) by birth, should not even taste onion-garlic let alone meat. But in reality (by my life vs. by birth), I am a pukka atheist. So in my teenage years I gobbled everything and anything that moves and does not move. No food was taboo.

In 2002, I read ‘The Food revolution’ by Jon Robbins. Was so influenced by it, decided to give up on all meat (almost turned a vegan, no but I am back to milk)….

Since Jan 03 up until now, I must have eaten meat no more than 20 times, and all because I had no other option to choose from. In the past year I have eaten chicken thrice (all tiny morsels).

It was in June 2006, I decided to give up on egg which was my last meaty frontier, but giving up on egg was like giving up on my staple diet ( I used to boast chai, eggs and dal-rice….and I don’t need anything else to survive).

In Oct 06, during my trip to London tried to eat egg to solve my food problems and hated it. Had chicken yesterday and hated it. My systems revolted against it. You know what, for me this in itself was Buddha hood.

One point though, in the past 2 years, I have strongly started believing in the interconnectedness of things, and hence have avoided violence (when I kill a mosquito, I kill a part of ‘my’ own world).

Today, it appears I am completely off meat, and am lovin’ it (actually I hate McDonalds).

Post 176 : The pain in the arse

I was in quite a bit of pain yesterday due to some health issues. In the past 3 years, I have suffered some (physical) pain, and every time an incident has happened, I have said that ‘this can be the worse that can happen to me’ and life can only get better from here.


I have always been pleasantly surprised, life has turned it ugly head up with a vengeance always….every single time I have gone back thinking this is worse than what was 3 months ago.

A friend of mine used to say, physical pain is good, it makes you a Mahavir (after the one who founded Jainism)……

I hope I do get some nirvana of the sort (maybe just a wee bit), it might make all this pain a bit more bearable.

My health is probably deteriorating, rotting away, gnawing away from the inside, and again maybe my body is trying to tell me something, but I think I am third ear deaf…..