Thursday, October 27, 2022

4051 : Fast love

That moment. You figure that you walk in a different world in the context of someone you so deeply love. One day that epiphany hits you. That this person obviously sees your differences, but they are also now that conflating that with either lack of love or fading love. 

Like a slow motion glass crack in a car accident (if you have not been in one.....dont wish for it, but I promise you, thats it magical to see the glass shatter in slow motion). In real life you know that it takes less than 100ms, but as you experience that shatter, it feels like time just dilated to many seconds, many minutes.

Poetically, thats how the realization feels like. And there is shatter too. You feel your insides, and most definitely your heart (your physical heart) shudder. Just like in the crash, you can feel time slow down dramatically. You can hear the words slur, and your eyes look at the world in complete disbelief. "This cant be happening.". You look at yourself and them, from a neutral standpoint - as if this were an out of body experience.

And ask yourself - "This?", "I was fighting this hard for this?". "Really?".

Then you snap out. You think you are back onto the spring. The heart knows, though that an accident has happened, the trauma will sing lullabies to you for the rest of your life, something along the lines of....

"Now that your rose is in bloom, a light hits the gloom on the gray."

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