So I was writing something about vulnerability, in one my private notepads. As I was writing, it occurred to me that being vulnerable is a strange game with even more strange rules.
Vulnerability means to me the ability to be honest and fragile in front of someone else or a group of people. The ability to stand and admit that "I am gay" (if you are that is), or "I am a compulsive liar" (if you are that is....) and so on....and then to also proceed to meditate in a public verbal way around this situation. Almost being figuratively naked with someone.
If that is a good simple way to think of vulnerability.....
Then....
It's usually very difficult to be naked (figuratively) with someone, with whom you have an axe to grind (from the past) on even on one attribute that you want to talk about. For example, I cannot tell my spouse "I am a compulsive liar", if she already suspects that I am being one.
I mean, I could still tell her that, but it will become a confession instead of a vulnerable chat.
And hence the only real people you can be vulnerable with - are the people who take the extreme (almost explicit) effort to take judgements and personal tribunals (and tribulations) off the table.
If this insight is true, that should explain - why some of us find ourselves so lonely and utterly marooned in this world.
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