When I am in another room/another time zone - I tell myself - one day when I meet you - I shall tell you this and that. I do want to speak, I do want to share, I do want to repair the damage that I have caused. In my distance, I have this single-willed belief, that it will eventually all uptick again.
And then I meet you - and in the first few seconds, something in me evaporates. It's nothing that you do - it's more me. (It's not you, it's me :-)). My courage, my hope, my optimism - all take flight.
There has to be a name for this condition. For now - I shall call this Moral Kombat :-)
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