Wednesday, April 28, 2021

3278 : In the eye of the tsunami

There have many times in my adult life when the world around me seems to be collapsing inwards, almost imploding. I mean my world. 

And every single time, I have sat in the middle of that implosion feeling despondent, and totally without hope. 

In the past - my way of coping with this - was to tell myself - that the axe can only fall only so much. Eventually, it will get stuck in the sand. And even if it falls into water, it will eventually find its resting place. The fall is never too deep as the core of the earth.

Makes sense? I really believe the above, that axes don't keep falling forever. Even if there are multiple axes aimed at you. Either you will die with 90 axes into you, or you will live to see yourself on a shore surrounded by 90 axes.

Either way, the pain will eventually end.

Today, I tell myself that this tsunami will end too. And I can bet my last money, that it will.

What I have never accounted well for in the past that - every tsunami leaves its destruction well beyond its ephemeral time. In the human context, this shows up as PTSD and some other even more permanent damage (like reputation, confidence, or sense of security).

The point is - I may or may not have PTSD from today, and this tsunami will pass. I am focussing on keeping myself healthy and happy for a tomo, that might be more amenable. Sometimes wars can last many seasons.

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