Sunday, March 28, 2021

3194 : Shitty weekend

I had an extremely shitty weekend. I was bothered by the opened black box.

A black box is more like a superposition. You don't know what's inside, and in most cases as physicists say - it because you are not either asking the right question, or your not measuring for an answer which is expected.

You are measuring for an answer which is not expected. Let me give an example.

About 10 years ago, two friends of mine (both fairly dear) stopped talking to me. Since then one of them is back on absolute talking terms, but the other just avoids me like I am the plague (and I can be, I know that!!).

With both of these, I tried resolving. I sincerely tried. Long notes, long phone chats, and lengthy dinner meals (with drinks of course!!).

No avail.

With both of them - I still have no foggy idea of how I tripped them. No idea. And about 7 years ago, I stopped trying to find the answer.

This is the perfect black box. The question I am asking is "how did I piss you off?", probably a good question, but I will never know. I am measuring/expecting them to tell me a single instance or a thing where I failed them. Maybe they just discovered that I was two-faced....(which according to me, I am not....but maybe they saw something which made them believe it). Now the "two-face" bit I am not measuring for.

Coming back, my weekend was shitty. Someone opened a black-box for me. And with me comes a sea of uncomfortable memories. I don't know how to resolve it. Don't know at all.

I am lost. I am humbled. And yet I am also broken.

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