Tuesday, March 23, 2021

3171 : It will probably be me

I was reading a tweet which was something to the effect (below):

If people start remembering (or noticing) things that they feel they have been wronged for/against and stop doing the same or consciously avoid the same, then the world would improve one step at a time.

The actual tweet is at https://twitter.com/spinningawheel/status/1374234953953648646 

I have often meditated on this. And I don't think individuals use personal setbacks or painful experiences to shape their own response to the world.

Let's say you have been unfairly terminated. Or you have just been dumped in a long-term relationship. Or you have lost a near and dear one due to bureaucracy at a hospital.

In all of these, there is immense pain. This pain has possibly hit you hard. Now, do you internalize this and explore a journey into awareness in terms of how you can improve your own situation? Or do you externalize and blame the world around you for the mess you are in?

In the latter (which could for all practical purposes true), you end up changing very little in yourself. In the former, you can probably transform yourself. Probably.

Let's take another example. I hate going to DMVs and RTOs. They are the cesspit of human inefficiency, bureaucracy and corruption. Now what I hate there is the callous way I am treated there. I am no one. They make me feel like a statistic. I come back to the office (and say I work at a hospital). There is a case, where the emergency patient needs a 20% discount because that's all she can afford. Instead of pulling all stops and working to see if I can help her get into the hospi, I tell her (and her family) that there is no way we can do a discount. I show them our policy book. No discounts ever. I am treating them like shit. They are a plain simple statistic.

One more example. I write to my CEO with a brilliant innovation idea. He does not respond.  I don't even know whether he has read my mail. I also run a 1000 people team. Someone in my team writes to me, and I don't respond either. I don't care to respond.

In all of these examples, I am doing unto others, the very experiences which make me very unhappy. Why would do that?

For the record - I still respond to every mail (of course sometimes 10 days later, but still I do). It's a huge cost, but I do it.

All I am saying is, this problem of inductive pain and happiness is a very chain problem. The only way to break this is, if you break it.

Break the chain !!. Today.

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