It takes very little for our "best" version of ourselves to erode. The veneer over us (or over me) is very thin. Just a small scratch (metaphorically) can start an avalanche of a downward spiral.
One scratch and the rot starts. I have seen in this myself - and I am horrified at times - what I see under the veneer. I have of course seen this in the best of my colleagues and friends.
Of course, the challenge, once you have seen you cannot unsee.
This means, now that I know of the demons inside me, it's hard not to be a little wary of the slide.
This is what murderers and killers probably allude to - when they say "don't know what came over me", their insides were exposed and they have did not moats to defend against their own insides.
I can see my everyday version. I have sometimes seen what I can descend into. The variation is huge and it's scary. I believe it's a constant struggle to ensure that the descent never happens. Ever.
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