Thursday, March 11, 2021

3132 : Fragility 2

Also when a moment like the "previous post" happens with us (or when it happened with me), I could not rationalize it in my head. I could not tell myself - call it what it was  - essentially a "failure".

Instead, you go into a massive spiral of self-doubt, self-loath (not much in my case), and a spiral of deep silence (which I never recovered fully from), in spite of many many years that have passed by since then.

"Friends" (or who you think are friends), zone off....and it hurts. Immensely. Of course, as you gather the ropes (and I was immensely lucky both times to have a line and sinker thrown at me), you do start a slow process of recovery.

In most cases (at least in my case), you come back 2-3x stronger, wiser, and more humble. Fragility is your best teacher. It teaches you that Buddhism is true :-).

I am today immensely grateful for every one of my "real" friends today. They have seen the worst side of me (the Godzilla in me!!), and they have lent me a hand, a shoulder, and most often an ear.

I am glad for the experience but honestly would never wish it on anyone. Not even my enemies (I don't have any - I really don't, I mean it!!).


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