Tuesday, March 09, 2021

3127 : Intimacy of diagreements

 There is a strange intimacy to eating with someone else. Even if this other person say is, your partner, or a close enough, say family. The dynamics of eating get more complicated if you both eat "different". Let's say you like vegan, and she likes meat, except prawns.

Now this meal - is a slow dance around also what can, and cannot be at the meal. Of course, a straight shooter would tell me - just let her be, you focus on your meal.

But nothing in life is that simple and obvious, right?

Its almost like saying, I love lungis and she loves sarees.....let her be. Of course, I will let her be. And yet, we are dancing around the edges of what could be either a great shared experience or on the other hand, could be a treacherous experience. Even amongst partners, right? Still not making sense, am I?

Let me lend a different perspective. To be open to welcome another's habits and excesses, you need to be able to understand him/her at a very fundamental motivation level. Like I have this friend who loves Japanese single malt. I love drinking with her, because she is on a higher plane, and I act like a "sink", love learning from her.

And on the other hand, my closest friend hates prawns, and with her and her rules, I feel like I am tip-toeing around a WWII landmine. Though she is closer to me than the single malt friend. 

The difference between the two - is simple. I fundamentally understand my free-spirited single malt friend. She is possibly less close and dear to me (if I could make that subjective yardstick count).

The prawn friend, on the other hand, is like my alter ego, but I just don't understand her rules, her ego trips, and her ability to make a simple meal into a slow dance ritual. 

Do I wish it would get better with lady prawn? Yes, sometimes. 

Also on really introspective days - I wonder - is it a land mine - because I too carry enough "prawns" (and the possible land mines) within my multitudes too? Don't answer - I know the answer and it shames me.

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