Friday, September 18, 2020

2928 : Barbs

 When two sides talk - and either side assumes any of that chat to be personal.....then peer trust was possibly lost quite some moons ago.

Let me give an example. When our kid tells us "you sucked at making paneer", we don't take it personally.....Most of us don't.

Then whyTF is a friend telling me "Amit you sucked at this call", a personal attack. But sometimes it does appear so. And I make it to be a much bigger issue than it ever was or will be. Its possibly my small-mindedness that makes a simple chat like this "personal" (Or I am HP :-), making chats personal again!!)

Even with our spouse. Like yesterday I was telling her something and she thinks I am making her feel like a zero.

Now unless I am a well-formed narcissist, and I mean to demean my partner, why would I do this? More importantly, how would I do this.

Of course....goes without say. I am a harsh friend, mentor, and father. My kid thinks I grew up in a Nazi school. I push him hard and make him feel like shit often. Just like a Zen master would. But the very next moment, I cook him his favorite paneer (not the one that sucked :-))....just like a zen master would.

I am a difficult person. Don't need to know that. And that reminds me more and more often. I need to go completely inwards. Completely silent. I have no business being a harsh father or partner, as my spouse often reminds me.

That's the post :-)

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