Friday, April 10, 2020

2769 : Fear

You can see morbid fear in people's eyes as you cross them along the street (nowadays I mean). This is the fear of "I have power, I have money  - but this time I feel cornered.". Sorry if I appear as I am judging them, but I genuinely see the fear and the confusion.

The confusion because, "I have power and wealth, but I cannot beat this shitty virus.". And they know, "this time there is a real chance, I might not."

Some of the wealthy ones I know (or hear of) seem to be procuring ventilator(s) and installing it in their homes. Really, I heard that. It could be just a random rumor, but if true, betrays a state of mind.

Coming from a Zen Buddhist school - I wonder why "we are all petrified of death". That's the only real truth we are assured of, especially once we are born.

That does not mean, I lick a swab of virus daily....but that means I will not let my spirit flag because of a virus, because of cancer, or because of debilitating conditions.

There is science which proves that - fear and social isolation - both which we are practicing in tonnes at this time - makes your body a ripe hunting ground for the malaise. Be it the virus or even something more sinister, say a tumor.

I would say- the best each of us can do for ourselves and our families is to be brave and confront our own apparent mortality.

I tell myself I might not live to see the year-end....and I say this hundred times a day. I truly acknowledge that statistically, this is about 0.1 to 0.5 (about 1/1000 to 1/200 range). I also tell myself that in my own estimate - I might see between 2-5 people I know, die in this period, especially if I am alive to see it.

Death is always near. If not virus, its cancer, if not cancer, its an air accident. My Buddhist roots teach me that, death is always just 60 seconds away - always. Live with that assumption.

On a more worldly note - one day - when I can afford it - I want to build a world-class hospice in India. I really want to. That is my life's calling. If today I had money, I would quit and start on this. I really mean it. We need to approach (and help others approach) death with dignity.

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