Saturday, August 06, 2011

1600 : What women want or what drives them ?

Folks who know me would know that I am not used to  thinking like a sexist - intact I like to posture (ahem!!) at the other end of the spectrum....

...but then there are days I write posts like this...read on.

What's this post about ?

Women drivers....

In india (both at bangalore and bombay) I often see women drivers ( you do see a lot of them now a days)...and these are essentially passing me by on the other side (or on my own side) while I am driving. I classify most women drivers into the following few categories :

1) Miss Mission : This is the lady who is sitting stiff necked, with the back of the seat at either 90 degrees or lesser (seriously), so in fact she is leaning towards the steering and bonnet. She is holding onto the steering with both her hands (in the classic 1010 position) and I can bet if we looked under her palm at that point we would find sweaty slinky pair of skinnies. She is not looking around - her eyes are focused on the road and car ahead....so much so that she looks like a zombie glass eyed and brainwashed....a lady on a mission...to her clearly the destination is all that matters. I am sure when she alights from the car, her lower back sighs and finally streches :-)

2) Miss Facebook : This lady is driving usually with dark large rimmed glasses on, she has a pair of white ear buds (from an iPhone what else) stuck in both her ears. She is either animatedly talking to on the phone, or she is fiddling with the stereo, or punching on the phone, or giggling and being slaphappy with her "girlfriends". The steering wheel is just another fix within her social world. She is not in a hurry to go anywhere, the car is her social booth....and yes, it's just incidental that she needs to drive, and change lanes, and allow other co-passengers and jay walkers to coexist....if they cannot take care of themselves....well, how can she ?

3) Miss Lara Croft : Make way for here comes the Indian. Her mirrors are either shut tight or completely unaligned. Her back rest is at 120 degrees versus the first one. Sometimes you can see a cigarette, a sandwich or a cup of coffee in her hands...and she is utterly aware of the world around her, but in a very "playstation" sort of way. She really believes she is in NFS, she has three lives, she can restart from where her car last crashed...and really the destruction along the way (caused by her)...she is not accountable for it. Fuck them thingys....

4) Miss Daisy : she has learnt driving well, follows all the rules, makes sure that she glances back to check for a blindspot before she changes lane..she could easily pass a DMV exam if she needed to....the catch...she is driving at 30kmph on the fastest lane of the pretty much empty road....without the "hazard lights" on :-)

Get the drift ?

Well, you do have equally vainglorious bastdards within the male bastion too...

But this one is not about them, let's save that for another post.

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