Thursday, November 12, 2009

898 : Midnight musings

I awoke today, with this strong desire to talk, to open up, to share.

(and probably hence all this blogging…..but its still not the same, this is impersonal  and vieled….behind the facade, if I might use that phrase….)

What did I want to talk about? Nothing in particular, but lots of “nothings”.

If I could wake up my spousey, she would have been more than eager to give me the patient ear…but that would not do it for me.

Unlike others, I look at spousey, and I see myself…let me explain. I believe, when two folks live together, their boundaries start blurring to a point, where spousey is you, and you are spousey…..If that is correct, you cannot be “talking to yourself”, you cannot be “sharing with yourself”.

On a related note, I suddenly remembered as I writing this, 3 people who used to be my pillars in my past life.
1. A dear buddy called Roy Paul, who stood by me like a rock during 97-98 – a period of mini crisis for me. He used to call me every night and helped me tip over the spiral. (I have been very out of touch with this guy now….unlike other lost friends, I don’t even reach out to him on his bday, because a few years ago, his father passed away on the same day….it kind of feels awkard to wish him on that day….I am not sure whether it works for him).
2. Shailesh who used to be my bulwark, pulling me back, balancing me through all my travails in life. Imagine all the “good parts of me” – really “all of them” in a human being, and now you add “ balance, wit, and “normal” to it” and you have Shailesh. We both loved to drive, both occasionally write, both enjoy cooking, both like photography, both are “thinkers” – but then he is balanced and very much in the curve :-)
3. My brother. 12 years ago, I would have never imagined living this life without him around…..and here I am today :-)

The night is ageing. An unfinished conversation ambles along :-)

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1 comment:

Hailshapes said...

Regarding #2 - So not true. Had I not known this guy, I would've almost believed you...seriously!