Monday, September 21, 2009

785 : (Politically incorrect)…Mallu Women

(Please read this as being a light hearted dig at the Kerala world. This is not meant to be more serious than Tom and Jerry, if you know what I mean….if it hurts you in any way, you dumbass serious guy, apologies in advance.)

Q : On what parameters are mallu women judged?
A : Facial hair, bosom sizes, and hip sizes.

Q : Why do mallu women need have buxom bosoms?
A : Years ago, they started wearing a lot of neck jewelery. Their deep clavicles(cleavage for the uninitiated) and buxom busts are a direct evolutionary response to this need to hoist neck jewellery. If this had not happened, a lot of women would have suffered from spondylitis.

Q : Why is the traditional dress of mallu women 3 piece (blouse, a lower petticoat, and a short saree for the top)?
A : Years ago, when mallu women were still becoming amazonian…the saree makers did not respond quickly enough to this evolutionary change. Hence, they continued make the normal sarees, which began only covering the tops of these amazonias…and these females were forced to make the 3 piece fashion statement. Today it is considered as culture and style.

Q : Why do mallu women have wiry hair and tie two braids out of them?
A : Given the number of children they have, they need to allow every single oppurtunity for children to cling to them. Wiry hair and the braids, allow at least 2 children to cling onto their mothers. The rest can be seated on their bosoms and buttocks.

(to be continued at leisure….)

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