Monday, July 27, 2009

651 : When you travel, your mind stops wandering

I returned from another quick business trip. Everytime I travel either on a vacation or a business trip (summary - everytime I break my routine day job), I return extremely introspective.

And when I mean introspective, I mean it in a deeply rummaging fashion, which means my internals are all topsy turvy, my thoughts are running rickety tickety, and my mind is like an inverted image of that of Dalai Lama.

What does it for me? I don't know, but I question, I search, I enquire for that elusive sense of purpose and drive that will take me closer to "meaning". I wanted to use the word "truth" (then I said WTF, I dont want to do an IP violation on the father of the nation).

I was always a bifocal kid. Having no direction, yet a sense of purpose....having no talent, but a passion....having no output, but with a curiosity like a sponge....having no winner, but being okay at my imperfect world.

Today, when I look ahead, I still want to do so much. There is miles to go (not sure when I will sleep though!!) I am 33, the ideal heady cocktail for a mid-life crisis. I can't ruminate any more.

Will I ever have a future? Will I ever get a corner office? Will I ever run 42k? Will I ever learn to play a single correct note of music? Will I ever see the other side of canvas, it might be silk? Will I ever be a "good" family guy? Will I long enough to tell? Will it ever matter? Everytime I break my routine, my mind runs like a headless chicken.

Ignore my rant, but do tell me, given this war poetry (in a 80 piece orchestra running) in my head....is travel a good trick for me or a bad lemon?

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