Monday, November 10, 2008

Post 457 : What would Buddha do when faced with a sinking feeling?

In the past week, that "sinking feeling" is setting in. Romancing the pain of uncertainty, dancing on the fringe of my own belief.

Rishi recently asked "How often do we step back and ask, is this where my life is supposed to be heading?" or something to that effect. I usually don't do that often.  Why?

For that you need to understand a bit about me. In general my approach to life is short fused, gun-trotting - in short, cowboy junkie who likes risk, who plays hard and who is not afraid to lose. On the other hand, some early experiences in my working life made me approach work from a very rational - level headed perspective - a slow and steady tortoise.

Get the drift? So for example, in stocks, I first shoot (post my research of course!!) and then verify whether I have won or lost - as in I dont mind falling over the edge. But at work, I am Mr. Steady. At home, I am the former - quick to assess the situation and shoot (or scoot depending on the situation :-)).

Now given, this Jekyll and Hydey game which I keep playing....

(where is this freaking post going?)

In short, I am at a point where I think life has come a full circle. The conflict is killing me, almost a mid-life crisis.

I took the day off today to take stock, to think, to ruminate, to procrastinate, and hell, I still have no answers.

(Hell, this post is actually going nowhere, I cant seem to open up to this post!!)

For now, I will abandon this thought here, and come back later, if I am still adrift (and afloat).

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