Saturday, September 09, 2006

Post 116 : Reins in a relationship

Not too long ago I was with Vijiamma and Manji (her mom and my grandmom). We were discussing about generation conflict (what better forum than to be doing it with your mom and grandmom).....

Viji amma was making a point that every relationship should be treated like two people have been bound in it using ropes. If the ropes are too tight, they shall stretch and abrade the person's wrists, if the ropes are too loose, we would never feel its existence. It has to be set to a delicate tautness....the one that makes itself felt, but does not abrade.

I found that an apt metaphor to explain why most of us fail at relationship.....since there is no formula for tautness.....If the other person is moving away, you need to move closer; and if the person is coming closer, you need to move backwards - all to retain the same level of tautness.

It needs to be perpetually adjusted and re-adjusted.....

Yesterway was reading, 33 strategies for war, by Robert Greene, on page 66, there is a similar example to explain corporate commandeering....

The Reins. A horse with no bridle is useless, but equally bad is the horse whose reins you pull at every turn, in a vain effort at control. Control comes from almost letting go, holding the reins so lightly that the horse feels no tug but senses the slightest change in tension and responds as you desire. Not everyone can master such an art.

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